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Darlin Review: Ocarina of Time

I….am not even going to try to introduce this. Let’s get straight to it!!!!


STORY: Oh goodness gracious, if you haven’t even at least heard of this video game by now I don’t even know what to say to you. Check it here.

GAMEPLAY: First off, let me just get this off my chest. I never played Zelda. I grew up with a Sega Genesis and a Playstation, not until a few years ago was I introduced to the Nintendo world of gaming. I played the very first Zelda game released on Super Nintendo and that was quite ridiculous if you ask me…extremely complicated and just confusing. I never played Ocarina of Time on N64, well, cause I never owned one. I was just recently introduced to the fantastic world of Hyrule, and my god, what have I been missing?! I see now why these games consistently get a full star ratings. This game has a perfect balance of almost everything: adventure, puzzle, action, drama, etc. Definitely one of the best games I have played in a long time, hands down.

The graphics for this game is beyond phenomenal…especially for a hand-held console. The graphics are better than most of my Wii games. It’s almost as beautiful as Skyward Sword, which was the newest Zelda game to be released earlier this year. And better yet…IT’S IN 3D! I never thought I’d say this, but….playing a video game in 3D is a much cooler experience than I expected. What’s really wonderful about the 3DS is that it has a switch that allows you to control the “intensity” of the 3D effect or even turn it off completely. Trust me, this comes in handy after playing for about six straight hours, my eyes began to burn.

As far as controls, I am use to playing with a controller that has about two-four extra buttons so it was quite annoying to constantly move back down to the touch screen to use various weapons or items I have equipped. I don’t think it would have been difficult to have added two extra buttons where my pointer fingers are, having a “R1” “R2” “L1” “L2” sort of a deal going on. Other than this (even though that really is Nintendo’s fault), the controls and movement on the DS is pretty flawless. I would recommend turning off the motion sensor in this game since it gets really annoying when you are using your slingshot/arrow/clawshot and you have to move your DS in the direction you want to face in the game. I didn’t even discover that setting until halfway through the game, it made gameplay SO much easier.

I beat this game in about a week in a half. Of course, being as naive as I am, I thought that was a long time to beat a game. Yet, I come to realize, I beat it way too quickly. I didn’t put down this game, I constantly had my 3DS in my hands the moment I wasn’t working. Not many games have this sort of effect on me, I was hooked, from the moment I started the game to the very end. Being new to the Zelda world (and slightly falling in love with Link…he’s a babe, okay) I am highly impressed, and of course, disappointed in myself for not discovering these games sooner.

Overall? A MUST HAVE! If you can’t afford to buy it, hell, I’ll lend it to you. Especially if you played the original Ocarina of Time. They completely revamped the look and did a superb job doing so. Even though I didn’t play the original, I can tell how much they put into remastering this game. Let me tell you, I’ve seen developers try to remaster old games and failed miserably (ahem, Halo 1 Anniversary remastered that came out earlier this year….don’t even get me started on how awful that game is). I mean…this IS the FIRST game I have given five stars, if I am not mistaken. So, do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to this game. You won’t regret it my fellow gamers.

Until next time!


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Darlin Review: Gears of War 3

This game needs no introduction. This game is so awesome, it gets it’s very own stand-alone review. I have been waiting for this game, well, for…..over a year. Here it goes!

DARLIN RATING: 4 1/2 stars

STORY: Check it out here my fellow gamers. It IS a trilogy, so, I would recommend playing the first two before playing this one. Otherwise, you will be completely confused.

GAMEPLAY: The controls aren’t too far off from the first two games, so, there isn’t much of a learning curve if you have played GOW&GOW2. BUT, the game as a whole, is much better than the first two. The graphics in general are phenomenal. Expect A LOT of explosions, lots of guts all in your face. And, of course, the chainsaw attack with the lancer gun we are all so fond of. It is MUCH smoother and actually WORKS! You know all those frustrating times of chainsawing an enemy in GOW2 and it would never work? Yeah, yeah…that doesn’t happen in this game. They also bring in some new weapons into the game that are pretty sweet, still haven’t mastered them yet, but here are some of my favorite; digger launcher, butcher cleaver, and the one and only one shot.

The digger is the creation of a torque bow arrow meeting a grenade launcher- but with actual creatures that dig underground and have explosives attached to them. Butcher cleaver is a huge blade that allows you to actually melee your opponents in this game (unless, pistol whipping was considered melee-ing for you). The blade, after each blow, begins to break off- so choose your killings wisely! One-shot…is EXACTLY what you think it is. A one shot extremely powerful sniper machine- one shot and you are DEAD. So so so much fun, but, very heavy and slow to reload- obviously.

But, nothing will beat the Hammer of Dawn. It is a satellite-based laser gun where you target your enemy with a laser, a satellite detects your enemy and sends down all hell on your opponent. So, so, so much fun- but, only works outside (for obvious reasons!).

Any advice on this game? Hm, not really. I got through the whole game with a Lancer, Torque Bow Arrow and either Frag or Incendiary grenades. You really do not want to get too fancy on the weapons in this game since it’ll be a bitch and a half to find the ammo for those cooler weapon (for example, the digger). Stay as far back as you can and shoot those assholes with snipers and the torque bow, Gears of War was never a “run up and melee in the back of the head” type of game. OH OH OH, and, another amazing thing, the CPU players actually DO stuff! They will actually revive you right away, they will go in and kill a good amount of enemies, and aren’t worthless!! This is HUGE!

So, why only 4 1/2 stars? Game is WAY too short. Seriously! When I beat this game, my sister came into the room and raised her eyebrow asking “Wait- that was it? All this time you waited, and you are done, already?!” and my sister isn’t even a gamer. I guess it’s time for me to try it again on hardcore. I also need to play it online more! The maps are GORGEOUS, but, the layout of the game makes it hard to play it online. Your character seems to be in the way when you are rushed by all the other players and it’s hard to really grasp what is going on.

Overall, a MUST for that shelf in that (wo)man-cave of yours. Till next time my fellow gamers!!!!!

iwilldestroyy0u (Xbox Live account)

P.S: I have yet to write a review, but expect something to be written up about Battle and Brew. Might be my new hangout place ;)

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Sorry, Darlin’s honor to Steve Jobs

Look Close

This might be one of the toughest and most emotional things I have blogged about, in, well…ever. I am writing this one out for the rebels, for the outcasts, for the ones who never thought they could make it, for the ones that were inspired to do something bigger and never settling. I am writing this one in honor of a man that I looked up to as my own flesh in blood. Steve. This one is for you.

Hello, My name is Zoë Cipolla and I am a Mac.

I have been using Mac computers since I was four years old. That, very first Mac, was with me until the age of twenty-one, until my recent house-fire took it away from me. Although, the memories of my first encounter with a Mac are somewhat blurred, I will never ever forget them. Those moments of playing a built in football game with X’s and O’s and a art/drawing program (forgive me, I do not remember the names). Those moments of frustration throughout school of how my “Mac version of an Microsoft Office document” would not open on the PC’s in school. The moments of victory of how my Mac has never had a problem within the five years of owning it, and I am writing this very blog on it at this moment. How my iPhone has changed my views of technology and mobile devices. How this company has inspired me to become an Engineer and hopefully work and build mobile software.

I am, forever yours.

Steve and his Wife at his last Keynote, ever.

If it wasn’t for this company, I would not be where I am today. I have no idea what type of person I would be. I have no idea where I would be. There are many reasons as to why I am the person I am now and Apple is one of them. To be apart of such a company….has changed me so much. It has helped me with shaping myself to become a better person and has forced me to set out a ten year goal and actually……go do something with my life.

If it wasn’t for Steve, who knows where Apple would have gone. If it wasn’t for Steve, I wouldn’t be the person I am now. I wouldn’t have such motivation to learn to become something greater and not to just “settle”. Be crazy. Risk everything. Never settle.

My father and Steve Jobs have so much resemblance- the way they talk, the way they think, the way they look (here is an image of them side by side)….My father has played a huge role in my life and has done so much for me, and once accepted into the Apple community, Steve I….just looked up to him like he was my father. And for him to have passed away, it’s a huge blow. Thousands of people have been affected by such a tragic event.

October 5th, 2011. I was on the way back to Atlanta from Miami, sitting in my seat on the plane, I looked over to see a father and son sitting next to each other as we waited to take off. The stewardess announced for everyone to power off all their electronics, and I watched the father struggle with his iPhone, having no clue how to turn the damn thing off. His six year old son, reaching over, and showing his father how to turn off the device and teaching his father something new about his Apple product. I see this almost everyday. But, I actually….watched. I realized how inspirational and influential Apple has been, how people of all ages are learning our products inside and out. How that, most of the world, found out about Steve’s death from an iPhone or an iPad. How….he changed, everything.

Steve lived with such huge dreams and visions that made the public thing he was, well, insane. But, he left this world a visionary. A legend. A hero. A mentor. A husband. A father. A rebel. He was so many things to so many different people. He has touched, so, so many lives. If I could be a quarter of what that man had grown to be, I would be ecstatic. And, if you hate Apple. Then, so be it. But, you are just lying through your teeth if you are saying “Steve hasn’t changed the way we look at technology”.

“Like Prometheus, Steve stole something from the Gods. And like Prometheus, he was punished for it.” – A text I received from a friend.


Thank you Steve Jobs. Thank you for….everything. You will be missed, dearly. But, never forgotten. I will forever wear my Apple, loud and proud. It’s our time to be Steve. It’s our time, to be, well…Apple.

My name is Zoë Cipolla and I am a Mac.

A memorial left at an Apple Store

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Darlin Review: Epic Mickey + Assassins Creed II

DARLIN RATING: 2 1/2 hearts

OKAY. So, I was given the option a while ago to get this game or a kinect….well, obviously i go with the kinect. (WHICH IS AWESOME BTW). Who doesn’t want to play with their bodies? I mean…wait what.

Anyway. I’ve been wanting to play this game ever since it came out, it was like the filler until Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out (if this ever comes out?).

STORY: Check out the wikipedia here.

GAMEPLAY: Well, one thing to point out: it’s on the wii. As much as I love the wii, when it comes to serious gameplay and controls: it lacks this. Off topic, what is up with this wii-u business? I am not going to lie, doesn’t look entertaining at all. OK, back to business. So, throughout the game, you have to run around Mickey’s “world” and most of it has “gone missing”, so you can repaint it in order to reconstruct the item. If you play video games like I do, the TV is mounted on the wall, you are back about 10 feet and sitting down on a couch- so, when you use the whole motion control and trying to use the pointer in order to precisely aim at the item you are trying to “reconstruct”….this doesn’t go over too well. You completely miss, waste paint, and now have to run around to find more paint. I won’t lie though, the graphics in this game are pretty phenomenal for a wii game.

Overall, totally a fun game, but not something I would immediately suggest something to play. I guess I am biased, since I really like action packed games. But, it is a good filler until the next Kingdom Hearts- like I stated earlier.

4 1/4 hearts

OH MY GOD. I LOVE games like this. I love rpg and just…..ugh. I could go on for hours about this game.

STORY: Check out the wikipedia here.

GAMEPLAY: First things first, you probably are asking yourself “okay, she says she loves this game…why not a whole five stars?” I will tell you, good question. But here is why: TOO complex. As much as I love building a character, seeing them grow, having multiple options for weapons, etc- it comes to a point to where it becomes too overwhelming. In Assassins creed, your armor breaks after a few falls and you have to go somewhere to repair it. Well, if I am in the middle of a mission and too busy to find a blacksmith, I will put it off. By the time I am finished with this mission, which usually takes about 15-20 minutes a mission, I forget my armor is damaged. I mean, I love the realistic aspect of it, but don’t just tell me once in small text my armor is damaged then suspect me to remember later, have some sort of reminder that is annoying for me to go find a blacksmith. For instance, Halo- when your shield is completely low, it flashes a huge red bar at you for you to get your ass under cover and fucking hide until your shield rebuilds. Makes sense. If Assassins Creed actually gives me another warning, obviously I am missing it and they still need to do a better job at this. As far as complex goes, this game is super long. Lets not get into how complicated these controls are. They created too many actions for your character to do, the game can’t even handle it. It seems to glitch out too many times when I am suppose, or allowed, to do a certain action. Just, take it down a notch, and this game would be perfect.

Overall, this game is a must. If you haven’t even rented and tried the game out, you must do this as soon as possible.

So, for those boys who are lucky to snag a girl gamer, here are some tips to you. And yes, these are all from personal experience and from the bottom of my heart. :)

1) Don’t EVER, EVER…EVER make fun how nerdy we are. Especially if you aren’t a nerd yourself. If we wish to spend the time to rant and geek out about something to you, sit there and listen. Don’t point and laugh at us. Not cool.

2) If we are in serious gamer mode, this is the worst time to lean over to kiss our neck or ask for a kiss. You are asking for a slap.

3) Want to surprise and delight us? Let us teach you how to play one of our favorite games. Don’t worry, we will let you win every now and then ;). A guy willing to go out of his way to do something his woman loves shows that you care. Obviously.

4) Last, but not least….Don’t be surprised if our mouths are just as foul as yours are. If you can’t handle what comes out of our mouths when we are gaming…..you might as well not even try. Nothing is less attractive than a man not being able to handle the true me.

I know I have been lacking a bit in keeping up with my posts, I want to hear what you all want me to try out and review. I am SUPER stoked about Gears of War 3, aren’t you?!

See you all on the flip side. Or, in between my crosshairs in Halo ;).


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Darlin Review: Borderlands + Starcraft II

DARLIN RATING: 2 3/4 hearts

At first, when I saw this game on the shelf, I thought it was a diamond in the ruff. The cover looked awesome, it was 20 bucks, AND it is a co-op campaign so my boyfriend and I can play together….boy, was I wrong. Oi. First off- it took me months to beat this. No, cause it isn’t difficult and no- not because I suck at playing video games. Simply because….it is really boring. It gets redundant and my god, there were so many times I got stuck behind a rock from awful glitches.

STORY: Just go ahead and read the wikipedia here :)!

GAMEPLAY: To be honest, playing this game isn’t difficult at all. The controls are pretty basic and easy to get use to. Almost every gun you get will have a zoomed scope- almost like a sniper- and pretty much they are all amaze-balls. One thing I love about this game is that most of the guns you pick up along the way have “elemental” effects. The elemental effects you will run across are incendiary, shock, explosive and corrosive. A couple tips on what gun to use against what; fire, use against enemies who show more flesh, shock weapons to help deplete shields quicker, explosive weapons can be used pretty much on anyone, and corrosive weapons against armored enemies. When you reach the end of the game and have to fight these spiritual guardians, equip yourself with all shock weapons.

Talking about the ending of this video game…there IS no ending. Okay, so the whole time, you are going along and trying to gain access to the vault. Finally, after hundreds of missions and so much time wasted, you get to the end, fight a huge ass monster then find out…..the vault key doesn’t even work. You have to wait another “200 years” in order for it to work. End result? They make you play the game all over again- at least, that is what I figured. AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. Do not EVER make a game or anything at all and not give us some sort of closure….Ugh. Dumb.

Overall? Eh play it if you want otherwise, you probably are better off to play something else. Unless…you want to be frustrated with a game that has no ending.

4 hearts

……..I can’t believe I am about to write a review about this. I am actually nervous about this one. Here goes nothing.

STORY: My gods, if you haven’t heard about this game or even know what it is about, just continue to live in that cave of yours…haha just kidding. Read more about it here, and….there is a lot to read up on. For those who don’t know a lot about StarCraft, this review won’t make too much sense. If I try to explain all the different races and etc- this would be a novel.

GAMEPLAY/STRATEGY TIPS: Before I even get into this game, let me tell you…I have been waiting almost 9 years for a sequel to come out. YES, I was a secret nerd in 7th grade that would go home and spend hours on a computer playing StarCraft. I never told any of my friends at the time cause they would all bully on me. Moving on. First off, if you don’t like strategy games and having to put those fingers to the test then, don’t even bother. This game is all about building the strongest and biggest army as fast as you possibly can. When playing online, here are a few guidelines to follow: you need a mouse (although, I play with a trackpad all the time…probably why I suck at playing online :\) and your fingers need to dance around your keyboard like the keys are on fire. Play as many custom games as you can and play against robots. Get yourself trained before playing those crazy kids online- it gets real serious REAL fast. Get geared up to loose- A LOT. When you play against the Zerg race, get ready for them to rush you within 2 minutes of game play. Protoss, constantly look around your base so they aren’t canon rushing you. Terran, if you wish to rush them, be careful because they will build a gate of supply depots blocking the entrance and if you aren’t wise enough, they will kill you before you can even tear down the entrance. Use your resources wisely, expand out your bases real early in the game so you can gain more resources. I am a Protoss player, it is a easy race to learn and I love how the probes build. I have been told that if you are new to this game, to play as Zerg. They are the toughest race to learn but the strongest- if you know how to use them wisely.

I would talk about the campaign but……no one buys this game to play the campaign. I mean, I played it, but that doesn’t count. If you want more tips and tricks, I command you to go read reddit.com/r/starcraft and if you haven’t heard of reddit by now….you can no longer call yourself a nerd.

Overall…I recommend playing this game. But, it is not for the faint of mind. Okay, that didn’t make sense, but it did in my head. Point being- if you get addicted to games easily, do not play this game. You will find yourself counting down the minutes till you get home to play StarCraft just so you can get your ass handed back to you by a bunch of 13 year olds. And that for being the sole reason I gave this game only 4 hearts….it gets so frustrating that it isn’t even fun.

Whew. See you nerds next time!


Sneak peak for my next update:
Portal 2 and some awesome apps for iPad/iPhone users :)!


Techy Tuesday

DARLIN RATING: 3 1/2 hearts

Being someone who grew up with Sega games (or really…Sonic the Hedgehog), I was excited to finally see a successful game come from these guys. I guess I really haven’t paid too much attention to what Sega has been releasing the past couple of years, but, all of their Sonic games have been horrible. So, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting anything good to come in the future. Yet, I am proven wrong.

I remember playing the demo around the time Halo Reach came out and I was so overwhelmed by that game, I put this game on hold. Eventually, I got myself a copy. My boyfriend and myself have become GameFly members and since there aren’t many co-op campaign games out there, we take turns playing the games we rent.

STORY: Instead of boring you to death about the storyline, go ahead and read it here. (Not saying the story is boring…but let’s just get to the good stuff honestly ;))

GAMEPLAY: Lemme sum this up in a sentence before going into details……Dead Space meets Gears of War meets Halo (just a bit…). The gameplay of Vanquish is pretty intense, I am not going to lie. You are equipped with an Augmented Reality Suit, where you have jet-boosters on each leg that allows you to zip around pretty fast. There is shit being destroyed/blasted at you at every second of the game- it never stops. It’s fast paced so those fingers of yours better be ready for a work out. My favorite move is to get into jet-boost mode then zoom in on your enemy with your weapon and start shooting- this causes your suit to “slow-time down” around you. You will fight some pretty impossible enemies since they are just way too fast, so you pull this move in order to get at least a couple head shots on them before the suit gets over-heated (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that…) If you use the power of your suit too much (i.e, jet-boosting so you zip around the floor pretty quick), it will cause it to over-heat. When you are overheating ,you are pretty vulnerable and can die quickly, so you better get your ass into cover.

So, why only 3 1/2 hearts? Well….it’s really hard to know exactly how low your health is. There isn’t a health bar, no seriously. Unless, I am completely blind- which could be the case. The only sort of “health” or “shield” I see is the energy left for your suit before it begins to overheat. Secondly, the left bumper is wasted on your character taking a smoke? Really, Sega, really?! This action serves NO purpose WHAT-SO-EVER, other than to look like a “bad-ass” that is just asking for cancer. I thought that it would bring up your shield faster but….no, not the case. They could have easily used this button for grenades….or just, something much more useful.

Overall, the game is a success. Fast-paced, some-what easy controls, and fun visuals. I do recommend it!

DARLIN RATING: 4 1/2 hearts

STORY: Once again, so this post isn’t ridiculously long….go yet to another wikipedia page.

GAMEPLAY: Lemme just say this, HOLY SHIT IS THIS A GRAPHIC GAME. But it is AWESOME. I really am not one for gore and blood and guts being everywhere, but visually….this game nails it on the spot for amazing graphics. I mean, within the first cut-scene you see Dante (close-up, mind you…) sewing a cross into his chest. Why would he be doing such a thing?! Well, if you read the wikipedia you would know…otherwise, I really don’t want to spoil too much. ANYWAY. It sort of has a RPG type feel to it, where you have to build up your character- and it’s one of those “evil” vs “good” type games too..which I love! So many options, and they are all hard to choose from! Also, it keeps you on your toes so when fighting a boss- pay attention to the screen- cause it will ask you to press certain buttons! It is also in third-person, which never bothers me….For some, this is a huge problem.

So, as amazingly awesome as this game is, why not a full 5 hearts?! Well…..to be honest, there will be some parts….actually wait, no I lied, A MAJORITY of the game you have to press “B” repeatedly to kill an enemy or get health….This really bothers me. Especially when a swarm of enemies is surrounding you and you want to kill them all as fast as you can.

Overall…this is a MUST-HAVE game on your shelf. It’s super fun and visually beautiful. When is the second one coming out?!

Just felt like adding this one in for all my fellow gamers out there.

1) Surround yourself with food and maybe a bottle of wine- or a pack of beer- before getting into game mode. I have found it difficult to pry myself from a game of StarCraft or Halo in order to feed myself.
2) Have moral support. NO, really. I am one of those who gets VERY frustrated real quick when shit gets too difficult in a level. If it wasn’t for my boyfriend to offer to take over for a minute or to crack jokes every now and then, I probably would have broken my TV and maybe a mirror or two by now…..
3) And lastly, but not least, give yourself a break. I know, I break this rule all the time….and don’t take it too seriously (which I do as well :\). It’s just a game. It doesn’t rule our life….not yet anyway ;).

Dead Space II review…GAH, want.

Anyone got any suggestions on games I can play and rate? Lemme know please! Otherwise, go crazy my fellow nerds.



Darlins bring you Fable III


It has been one crazy holiday and I know I haven’t posted in quite a while- but I am back and oh boy, do I have a treat for those thumbs of yours. Soooo. To make this interesting I decided to start a weekly of game suggestions/ratings- whether they be brand new games or old-school. Let me tell you, Santa was quite generous this year. Too many games to even handle- even for me. One of those being Fable III, which I am going to talk a little to you all about.

First off, IT’S AMAZING! I was so addicted to Fable II, way too into my character for even words to describe. All day, every day, I was playing Fable II. I really was nervous about the third one, how in the frack were they going to top it off? And, they did.

My only complaint is I don’t like how long it takes to interact with people and to get them to be your friend. It seemed so much easier in the second one to get people on your side than it does in this one. Fable has three stories to it, first you have to adventure around Albion and get the people to follow you so you can take over the land from your brother that is corrupt and evil. Second, once you are king/queen you have to either keep or break the promises you made to these people when they helped you. Depending on which you choose (good vs evil), you get more and more into debt (of course, if you are evil you gain money instead of loose). And last, well…I really haven’t gotten there just yet (I am still trying to gain 6.5 million dollars) but I am guessing it really depends on if you raise the money before your year is up (Wait did I mention you have a year to raise all of this money and an army before “the darkness” comes and tries to kill everyone??…yeah).

Screenshots from my sweet Fable Adventure!

So, my trick? Leave my game on running for hours. YUP. So, in Fable, you can buy houses and shops, collecting rent/revenue every 5 minutes. I bought everything you possibly can buy in the land of Albion and I get about 85k every 5 minutes. I can easily raise 1 million in no time- but it does mean leaving my xbox on with a wired controller plugged in so the game doesn’t pause on its own (from the wireless controller dying) and I get that money son! Yes, this is quite ridiculous BUT it is the ONLY way to raise all this money….unless you truely have a cold-heart and just don’t do any good deeds that get you in so much debt in the first place. I usually do play the evil role while my boyfriend plays the good role, but I decided to be good FOR ONCE. Plus, being evil is quite boring after a while and has no challenge. All you do is just run around and kill people, what is the point in that?

Otherwise, this game is very addicting and lots of fun. The gameplay is amazing and I love how your weapon changes with you, and the idea that you can mix two magics together? Pretty sweet. If you are into RPG as much as I am, you will love this game.

Oh, one more tip when it comes to Fable….EXPLORE. Those gnomes aren’t gonna come back on their own now are they?

Have fun my fellow gamers!

PS- The Kinect for the Xbox is truely magical!!! Update on this soon? YES- once I have more games for this baby. The kinect adventures that come with it is pretty awesome…so get yo’ wife, get yo’ kids and get together to play it.




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